Are people really, “Born That Way?” Is there really such a thing as, “Gay Marriage?”
NOTE: This website from the LDS Church is to be the source for accurate information on what the church teaches regarding the issue of Same Gender Attraction: http://mormonsandgays.org/
I decided to keep my opinion posted below even though it does not follow the teachings of the church 100% because it was posted before that website came out. It shows an evolution of thought and I urge everyone to follow the LDS Church’s teachings regarding this issue and not mine. Instead of deleting it and pretending it didn’t exist, is impossible on the Internet nowadays. Read it with a grain of salt and an eye on the church’s website at the same time. –Kelly Smith 11/7/13
First of all, I must state that I am not an authorized representative of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and am not speaking for the church. I am only a member of the church and expressing my opinion from study, prayer, personal experiences and observations. I am also not a trained professional in psychiatry or psychology and so you may dismiss everything I say if that is your required basis for authority (even though some of the craziest ideas ever purported on mankind have come from many who have a PhD after their name).
This article was written with the desire to:
- Explain what I see as society’s opposition to Gay and Lesbian relationships.
- Comfort those who are concerned with the issue.
- Befriend and encourage those afflicted with a desire and method of change.
- Help normal heterosexual people understand how homosexuals got this way and to love them anyway.
- Motivate us all to keep traditional laws of marriage in place to prevent the prophesied catastrophes from befalling our nation.
- Bring to light a few things that have not been discussed in almost any forum I have seen.
- Give an eternal perspective to this important issue.
For many years I have watched a steady decline in morals throughout the world. When I was a teenager Elton John finally declared his homosexual lifestyle and it was met with much discussion and revulsion by the populace. Since that time, thousands of people have followed his same path and are now in every aspect of society: entertainment, religion, media, business, government, etc. This very vocal group continues to grow and is becoming more demanding of specialized status, privileges and rights.
The main logic they use is the claim that they are born with specific tendencies towards homosexuality. They cannot change who they are and therefore, should be allowed to live in that manner without any consequences or restrictions. They also claim that since they are “ born that way ”, it was God who did it to them and therefore it is only “natural” and should not be looked down upon or prevented. There are now even proposed laws that will prevent a psychiatrist from trying to do anything whatsoever in attempting any therapies that would steer them toward a “normal” heterosexual lifestyle since they were “ born that way ” and that is their norm. Any attempts at such change amount to persecution and are infringing upon their “rights” and essence of who they are.
We are now accosted almost every day by some new story or study that shows that such a condition is natural and should not be restricted. We are supposed to just accept them as they are with no limitations. Examples from history, science, genetics, environment, psychology, evolution and the animal kingdom are referred to with an almost fanatical fervor seldom seen in any other sociological issue. Anyone who speaks out against them is labeled as racist, homophobic and discriminatory and derided as not being progressive or accepting of others whom “God has made.” Anyone who tries to help them change are only causing great psychological harm and making things worse.
Lost in all of this are a few basic realities of which need to be discussed, including:
- The nature of mortality,
- God’s plan for his children
- Satan’s opposition to that plan
- A child’s right to be born into a normal family of a Father and a Mother
- Our ability to choose what we want to be in life (homosexuals claiming that there was no choice involved because they were “ born that way ” and it is totally normal).
- In addition, almost any discussion I see on the causes of gay or lesbian behavior are usually dismissed outright as inaccurate, discriminatory or offending. While we don’t know everything about the causes, there are a few things that have a definite effect and must be addressed instead of ignored.
My hope is that in this manner can we come to a realization of the issue and help all involved understand the situation and the causes and therefore help each other come to a solution and resolution.
God instituted marriage when he joined Adam and Eve as husband and wife in the Garden of Eden.
Adam and Eve were not yet mortal and therefore it was an Eternal Marriage. It was joining a Man and a Woman after the pattern of Heaven since they were born from Heavenly Parents and we are to do the same.
Therefore shall a man leave his [Heavenly] father and his [Heavenly] mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:24
God the Father and his Wife, our Heavenly Mother, bore them as immortal children in the Garden of Eden with the express purpose that they would fall into mortality and thus create a place for all of us to be born and gain this physical body.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Gen 1:27
We are all children of these same Heavenly Parents and needed to gain these physical bodies to progress throughout eternity. They are extremely important and are not to be abused or discounted. God created the desire to be together and bear children so that all of his children could have the same privilege as He does. Without this natural act of procreation that was to be performed only under authority of marriage, children would not be born and his spirit children would not have the bodies they needed and were promised to them.
So the first thing to recognize is that there is a pattern that was created by God himself of joining a man and a woman in marriage to bring forth children to gain physical bodies. Any alteration of that plan is not from God. Any joining of same-sex couples will not bring about His plan and is doomed to failure. There is no such thing a Gay Marriage in God’s eyes. To try and redefine marriage as anything else, is trying to change eternal laws that cannot be changed. Any “union”, “civil right”, or “loving relationship” will not stand and will never be recognized by God.
Any attempt to alter this pattern must be opposed by those who desire to follow God.
God has shared something with all of His children that are a part of His power: the giving of life.
Sex has as its first purpose the bringing forth of spirit children into mortality. Any misuse of this power is detrimental to all involved and results in serious consequences of those life-giving powers. Anyone who misuses sex in any way is under the consequences of sin and feels the guilt associated with that misuse. Prostitution, immorality, bestiality, homosexuality, abuse, masturbation, adultery, abortion and a host of other similar things are all against God’s plan.
The method God uses to warn us that we are not doing the right thing or have done something wrong are a guilty conscience and loss of his spirit. Any sin with the misuse of this God-given power results in severe guilt that can only be removed by repentance. Repentance is usually incorrectly understood in the religions of the world, but not with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is:
- Feeling godly sorrow for the wrong doing
- Confession to the proper authority what happened
- Seeking forgiveness by those involved
- Making restitution to repair the damage and
- Covenanting to never do the sin again
Each one of those steps must be adhered to even though none of them are easy, but through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, it can happen. I testify that you can be forgiven of sin and feel His love again in ways that you never imagined. You can have freedom of guilt and a peace in your heart like never before. It IS possible to get on the right track and moving in the right direction again. There is hope for anyone involved in any sin as long as you desire to change and do all you can to make the atonement of Christ effective in your life.
Causes of Homosexuality
Everyone who has become homosexual in their interactions tries to tell everybody that they were “born that way”. Somehow they forget that little boys like guns, trucks, tanks, etc. and little girls want to be princesses. With extremely rare exceptions boys are born to be boys and girls are born to be girls. The vast majority of those who claim to have been “born that way,” were not born that way. Those who suffer from same gender attraction are becoming more and more prevalent. But it is all a Lie.
How did it become a lie? That is the million-dollar question and I have a number of suggestions as to the answer. First of all, human sexuality is part of our development as human beings. Hormones and puberty and everything that goes with the changes of becoming a man or woman is something we all must go through. If something happens at particular stages of that development to alter, delay or speed up that process, problems may arise.
May I be frank for a moment and discuss some of these sensitive issues? It’s perfectly normal for boys to be attracted to girls and girls to be attracted to boys. We were designed that way for a purpose. Sometimes overly domineering mothers and fathers can have an adverse affect on that natural attraction and those feelings. Some have turned to homosexuality as an outright act of a rebellion against their parents teachings in order to inflict as much pain on them as possible because of they way they were treated as children under such forceful dominance.
Exposure to things such as pornography, gay or lesbian activities, pedophilia and other abuses can alter the correct perception of sexuality. This is especially true at earlier ages but it can affect anyone at any age.
Pedophiles who abuse children in any way can have drastic effects upon the child’s sexual perceptions and abilities to enjoy normal sexual relations, sometimes for their entire lives. There are over 400,000 registered pedophiles living in the US today! It is sad to note that some of those who were abused as children, become abusers of children themselves as adults. Surprisingly, some psychiatrists and psychologists have claimed that none of these things had any real effect upon the outcome of changing to a homosexual lifestyle.
Part of normal sexual activity in the marriage relationship is touching one another and this should only be done between a husband and wife who are legally and lawfully married. If a person has their genitals touched by someone of the same sex it can alter their true desires and normal activities for the rest of their lives. It is important never to allow anyone but a husband or wife to touch each other in such a manner. If this happens in teenage years, severe effects may last for many years, even a lifetime. Never let this happen to you or your children. Something happens in our brains when this event occurs. It is supposed to be reserved for only a husband/wife relationship. Desires and feelings somehow change toward those who have been touched in such a manner.
If done in a manner that is not in line with that husband/wife relationship, it can alter correct desires and be misdirected towards others of the same sex. For those who have experienced such things, recognize that you were not “born that way” as it was a physical act that either started or propelled such feelings. It also changes the way they view the past before such experiences and some come to think, incorrectly, that they have always been that way. Every thought or temptation towards same sex attraction is now somehow used as “proof” that they were that way since birth. The reality is that everyone is tempted to a greater or lesser degree by the adversary to misuse such powers. This does not prove being “ born that way, ” only proof that someone has been tempting them to think that way for a very long time and the person finally gave in and incorrectly accepted it is the norm and essence of who they are.
They are living the lie.
Succumbing to the temptation will alter a correct view of personal history and skew memories and real God-given desires into that which is wrong. But why do we have such temptations anyway? Where do they come from? Surely, not all thoughts or actions are right and every option in front of us can’t be good. There is no such thing as moral relativism because that which was immoral yesterday is immoral today.
“There is no neutral ground in the universe; every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counter-claimed by Satan” C.S. Lewis
Good and Evil are the ultimate in discussion regarding opposites. God stands for everything that is good and Satan stands for everything that is bad or evil. Satan will do anything to destroy that which is good. He only has a short time before he will no longer have the powers he does to tempt us and so he is working overtime in order to destroy us in any way he can.
One of his most common methods of temptation is to insert a thought into our minds regarding something evil. He cannot read our thoughts, but he can insert thoughts into our minds. These can be almost innocent in their ideas, only partially mean or evil, and then ramp clear up to vicious, powerful, almost overwhelming urges that take over every thought and never seem to be able to get removed.
Surely everyone has at one time or another had the thought going in their mind that maybe, “they are gay,” or to be attracted to a physical characteristic of someone of the same sex. That thought may come at any time, whether you’re looking at someone or not, and most people push it out of their minds, recognizing that this is not natural and that someone put that thought there. But if it is allowed to take hold within our thought patterns, it may increase and grow as quickly as we allow it. Obviously, it is important that it not be allowed to grow and it must be stopped.
I know of several people who suffered from “same gender attraction” and dealt with it in a proper manner. They were determined to do the right thing and not succumb to the temptations. They focused on what was right; they got proper counseling from the right people who taught them how to keep moving toward what was natural and god-given; they eventually got married (in the normal heterosexual way) and had children and are living a proper and normal life with no temptations to go back to something that once tempted them. They didn’t succumb to the temptation, because that is is exactly what it was-a temptation.
Controlling our thoughts is something we spend a lifetime trying to do. Thoughts may come at any time and over any subject. A beautiful and holy scene may be destroyed by depraved and gross thoughts. How do people become murderers? It’s because they allowed that thought to grow within their mind and heart. How do people become adulterers, pedophiles, robbers, philanderers and thieves? It’s all the same way: allowing thoughts to take root and grow.
We become what we think about, all day long (Earl Nightingale).
So everyday we have a choice before us as to what to think, believe, do, accomplish, etc. Here is a great quote from Alexander Pope:
“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
― Alexander Pope
When first exposed to homosexuality or with the thought of being gay or performing homosexual acts, the normal reaction is one of revulsion and reprehension. When children first hear of such things, they scrunch up their face and stick out their tongues in horror. If anyone is exposed to repeated discussions, thoughts, pictures, conversations, articles, news reports, videos, lectures and classes regarding the “healthy and natural” nature of gay relations, they endure it. They then pity it and eventually, if not halted or removed, embrace it and accept it.
Whether they ever perform a homosexual act or not, they are now a part of the culture and usually do nothing to fight its spread. They accept those who have “come out of the closet” and pay money to see gay entertainers, “because they are funny”, they support political candidates who will “push for equality and the rights of all people.” They do nothing to stop the spread as more and more people succumb to the temptations of the flesh and now less and less children are born in the way God designed. Thus the society falls, almost slowly at first, and then quickly at the end until there is nothing left to save and God wipes the landscape clean of all involved. He has done it before, more than once.
So lets get back to more positive thoughts and corrective actions that can have a positive effect. Any sin committed by anyone results in guilt. The greater the sin, the greater the guilt. Guilt is God’s way of telling us we need to change and repent of what we did before its too late. Guilt will only go away by 3 possible methods:
- Searing our consciences with a hot iron and thus removing all spiritual feelings, and
- Great lengths of time that only serve to reduce the memory of the guilt, but it does not really remove it.
Lets talk about the first one: Repentance, because that is the only one that really matters. God has several attributes: Love, Justice, Mercy, Judgment, All Knowledge, All Power, etc. His laws are eternal in nature and cannot be broken without suffering the consequences, whether in this life or the next, they cannot be escaped from.
In order for us to decide whether we will love someone or not, take from them or serve them, steal or buy, talk good or bad about someone, God gave us the ability to choose our actions. This is called Free Agency and all of us exercise it every day of our lives. We choose to become what we have become.
The big agenda item of almost everyone who chooses to live the homosexual lifestyle is the claim that they had no choice, that they were born that way. This point is made in every single conversation regarding the subject. They say things like, “why are you persecuting me for something I cannot change? Why are you discriminating against me because I was born this way? Why deny me the benefits of marriage for something that is normal to me?”
This is a big lie.
People who become leaders, defenders of justice, captains of industry, determined mothers, excellent teachers, and a host of other good and positive things, do so by developing and growing good and positive thoughts. They were not born that way. They made the choice to do that and worked to bring it about. But to the “gays” who say they are born that way is a complete lie. They have allowed themselves to grow the seeds of evil thoughts and become that evil themselves.
They have CHOSEN to be gay.
The sad thing is that almost none of them will admit this. Almost every one of them including trained psychologists and psychiatrists say that they had no choice in the matter. How can this possibly be? A decision does not have to be something chiseled in stone after contemplating it and weighing out all the options brought before the board and voted on. A decision can be a subtle as a change of thought. Once someone has listened to the same thoughts over and over again, many times they give in, in order to quit fighting them. They hope that by giving in they will go away and thereby remove the stress and pressure. They also falsely believe that the reason they have those thoughts are because that is who they are.
This is also a lie.
In the same world in which we have great and noble people, we have those who would destroy and take from others. While we have loving mothers and fathers who want to raise children as best they can and struggle every day to teach their children that which is right and wrong, we have TV shows like “Modern Family” that tries to make homosexual relations become the new norm. This is wrong. And yes, it is evil. We are at the point of pitying and embracing that which we once felt revulsion for.
Every single day we choose who we will become and once we tell ourselves that we are, “this, or that,” then that’s what we become. For the extremely small minority of those who were born with feminine or masculine tendencies that are not typically part of their gender, this is something they will have to suffer with the rest of their lives and is part of mortality. It does not give them license to become full-fledged gay or lesbian people because God did not create them that way, it’s part of mortality. It’s also nowhere near the number of those who claim to have suffered this type of birth as it is extremely small.
Our mortal existence is fraught with difficulties and trials and designed that way so that we may overcome and become better. If everything was easy then no growth would occur. But we will continue to see story after story about people who claimed to have supposedly been “born that way” to gain our sympathies and let them live the way they do. This will not work. It will not remove the guilt they feel no matter how many accept their lifestyle and decide to make it “legal.”
There is another issue that the gay community seems to be avoiding and completely discount every mention of it. There are many who were once living the homosexual lifestyle and then changed back to a normal life. This brings up all kinds of problems. They have spoken up about how they were deceived and then they try to bring others back to reality. What happens if the Gay agenda manages to change the laws and make “gay marriage legal” and then change back from gay to straight later in life? What are they going to do then? How will those legalities help anything?
There are many, many other problems that can come out of this. The one big issue is that children have a RIGHT to be born to loving parents as ordained by God: a Father and a Mother. That was the original plan and any alteration of the plan will fail. Did you understand that issue-Children have rights too: first to be born and then to be born into a loving family of a father and mother so they can have the best chance possible to be the best they can be and return to God having fulfilled a life according to His plan and purpose.
So what can we do to stop this? How can we change the current trend and go back to the way God designed things? How can we help those who have fallen into the trap of homosexuality and come to see things in the right and proper manner?
Please note that there is no use or purpose to persecution of those who live a homosexual lifestyle. It will not change them and is wrong. Most persecution is the result of fears on the part of the persecutor and should be avoided at all costs.
I love and respect all people and live by the mantra: love the sinner, hate the sin. Homosexuality is sin and as much as they try to avoid this issue, it cannot be ignored. No amount of therapy, changing of laws or altering public attitude will remove the guilt they feel. All immorality is sin and the only way to get rid of that is through repentance.
But people aren’t interested in changing for the better. The history of societies has always been a downhill trend and this one may prove the end of our society, just as it has in the past. This is not something new.
While we continue to have more and more people “come out of the closet” and gay and lesbian relationships become more and more accepted, our society continues to drift further away from God. There are all kinds of leaders, entertainers, politicians and business people who have “bravely announced who they really are.”
This is a lie.
You see, as already mentioned, everyone who breaks any laws or commandments that are eternal in nature, feel guilt and pain in their soul. It is possible to “sear their consciences with a hot iron” but it will never be fully removed.
God is a God of Justice along with being a God of Love.
He cannot look upon sin with the least degree of the allowance. There will come a time when we’ll stand before God to be judged according to our works and this will be a terrible time for those who have not repented of the sins they committed in mortality.
It is said that the pain will be so great as we stand in His presence, that we will wish that the rocks and the mountains would fall upon us to hide this from his presence. You remember doing something wrong as a child and feeling guilty before your parents? That will be nothing in comparison to what we will feel when we are judged of our works before our Heavenly Father. We won’t be able to hide and everyone will see what we have done.
For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence. (Alma 12:14)
But God is a God of love and has provided a way for each of us to overcome our failings. This plan was created before we were born and we all accepted this plan when we lived in God’s presence. This plan required a God to come to earth and pay the price of all of our sins. This same being would also take upon himself all the guilt and pain associated with those sins.
This being, is Jesus Christ.
He loves the sinner’s so much that he took upon himself the justice that would occur for all the sins committed throughout eternity. Sadly, there are many who mock and discredit such a marvelous act and question its existence, but I’m here to tell you that it is true for I have felt its effects. I have felt that love of being forgiven and having my pain washed away and feeling guilty no more. Is it easy? No, but it is far easier than the justice we will face in the presence of our Eternal Father.
It requires a desire to change, and to submit to Him as our Father and God. It requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit and a desire for something better.
Part of the reason I’ve spent so much time trying to explain this issue is that I also love all mankind including gays, lesbians and sinners of all types. I want them to feel what I have felt. Although I have never committed homosexual acts, I have not been perfect in other areas of my life and I want them to feel the freedom I feel and the love I feel. Yes, I have spoken harsh words but unless someone recognizes the need for a Savior, they will do nothing to alter their situation or condition. They will take no responsibility for their actions and continue to blame others and even God for being, “born that way.”
God gave us all free agency to choose what we would become.
Remember, we CHOOSE to become straight, gay, righteous, wicked, good, evil, honest, deceitful, etc. It is a choice! Many people do not like this notion and want to absolve themselves of responsibility for getting themselves in that position. If that is the case, how can you ever be free? How can you ever solve life’s problems or overcome the difficulties you face if you just say that well, that’s the way I was created, so I can’t do anything about it.
That is EXACTLY what Satan WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE AND THINK! That is how he deceives us and make us his prisoner.
We give up our freedom when we say we have no choice. We give up our power. We give up our ability to change and become better, to help others, to make things in this world better than when we found them. What is the point in doing anything good if we have no reason to do so because things were just created that way?
We all have a choice and if our society decides to make “gay marriage” the law in our country, we will suffer the consequences of those decisions. In 1995 the Prophet and 12 Apostles of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints issued a profound warning regarding this very thing. As I mentioned before, this has happened in the past. This is not anything new although it is much worse and more prevalent than ever before.
The “Proclamation on the Family” sternly warns the following. Here is the actual quote:
WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We will bring upon ourselves disasters foretold long ago if we follow this path. We who would not stand up to evil in the world, who would not speak out against such trends, will lose all that has been given us and the end is terrible. Many people don’t want to hear this and would rather ignore, mock or even scorn people who warn us of His impending disasters. I am begging each of you to do all you can to prevent this radical homosexual agenda from taking over our society. Children have a right to be born in a loving family with the father and mother. Our society must keep the laws and commandments and statutes that been handed down through traditions that to go backward Adam and Eve. What right do people who have chosen to live another lifestyle have to destroy the normal traditions that have been handed down for generations?
They don’t, because there is no such thing as Gay Marriage in Heaven.
In conclusion I hope that I’ve shown you in a proper and respectful manner using reason, logic, tradition and love to show that this issue regarding a drastic change in our society towards homosexual lifestyle is nothing new. We must do all we can to prevent laws from being changed to allow Gay marriage as it will do nothing to benefit our society nor give children the promised rights of being born into a family with a Father and a Mother. While we continually hear those who have turned gay claim to be born that way, they really are not as it is a choice that they have made somewhere along the line as a result of deviant sexual experiences, home environment and succumbing thoughts from the adversary. There is a way out for those who desire to change once we realize that they have accepted the lie regarding being “born that way.” The way out is through Jesus Christ’s Atonement and the repentance process offered to all those who wish to change.
There is no such thing as Gay Marriage because no one is really Born That Way.
Filed under: Gay Marriage
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